Panking's JAV Pet Peeves
We all have our own pet peeves when it comes to JAV. Those things(minor or major) that can really hamper your viewing experience. Whether it's a technical issue, a genre or trope you dislike, or maybe even an actor that rubs you the wrong way. I'm here today to discuss 10 of my own pet peeves. They all range in frustration with some being a little nuisance to others being a video wrecker. With all that said, let's get started.
Masks
What a completely idiotic trend. I've seen many otherwise solid films ruined by this awful gimmick. Now, let me clarify by saying I don't completely hate all masks. I can tolerate some of them but the full-covered gimp type masks drive me crazy. One of the biggest reasons why I can't stand them is that they completely conceal their face and heavily restrict their acting ability. No facial expressions and no display of emotions at all. It can also just be flat-out creepy, often reminding me of a monster from Silent Hill or something. Thankfully, this trend isn't that common, but when it does occur, it's extremely frustrating.
Overly bright lighting
Nothing can quite ruin a scene like overly bright lighting. Lighting is such a make-or-break component of a scene. When it all comes together, it can really elevate a scene to a new level. But when it's on the opposite end of the spectrum, it can completely derail a scene or even an entire video. It's especially bad when it's to the point where it absolves all shadows and depth. This is a huge mistake when it comes to the busty and curvy types. A prime example of this is the recent big titty collab in MIRD-259. Every single scene is like this, making you feel like you're being flashbanged constantly. Some directors need to learn that shadows are your friend. Please stop trying to make it look like the sun is going supernova.
ASMR/JOI themes
Just in case anyone isn't familiar, "JOI" means "jerk-off instructions". Basically scenes where the actress is speaking directly to the viewer with tons of dirty talk. I don't necessarily hate these but as someone who doesn't understand Japanese, it's all lost on me. Most of these films/scenes just amount to the actress speaking to the camera the entire time while jerking off a dildo or something. The "MANX" label from Fitch is a prime example of this. There's some minor action involved but even then it's dull as hell. Maybe with subtitles it's partially enjoyable but even then it's quite a snoozefest. And ASMR just isn't my thing. The whole whispering into your ear and whatnot does nothing for me. I like POV but this specifically isn't my cup of tea.
Pointless artsy camera angles
You could call this a direct shot at Samoari. He is the poster boy for this exact quirk. No one does it better than him. He's not the only one who does this but he's easily the biggest offender. It's such a pet peeve of mine. Nothing is more irritating than when you're enjoying a solid angle of a scene only to then have it switch to a shot directly above for no reason at all. Or when you get a glimpse of their ankles or feet while they're standing up and getting it on, capturing the "fluids" dripping down onto the floor. Many of these shots will have you saying "WHY?". Most of these serve little purpose, only for the director to try and flex his camerawork skills like he's putting together a resume to break into the mainline film industry. You're shooting porn buddy, I don't want to see the scene from the rafters in the ceiling.
Excessive toy scenes
Please tell who actually enjoys these? I'm referring to those scenes where the actress is just using a vibrator or dildo on herself for a masturbation session. At times, I get why they're there if it ties into the plot, but most of the time, it just seems like filler to pad out the film. It's especially bad in a gonzo/vanilla film. Just include a tittyfuck, blowjob, or anything else that's remotely interesting. This also applies to similar scenes where it's a group of guys using a variety of toys on the actress. I can't stand those ridiculous scenes where three or so actors use about a dozen vibrators on the actress. It's so boring and pointless. I'd rather watch paint dry.
Taku
Look, I completely respect his long and enduring career. If there were a Mount Rushmore of AV actors, he should be on there admittedly. But I cannot stand him unforunately. One of the biggest reasons why is his constant slobbering and "kissing" although it's more akin to a puppy dog licking. It's gross and is a major turnoff. JAV kissing can already be a mixed bag but Taku just ramps it up to 11 most of the time. It doesn't help that he makes some of the dumbest and goofiest faces while doing so, often looking like he's trying to suck our her tongue while bulging his eyes. Anytime I see he's in a scene for a film I'm interested in, I just "sigh" and bear through it. It boggles my mind that some JAV communities actually adore him to the point of worship. He's by far my least favorite actor.
A.I. nonsense
This is the most recent trend to make my list and perhaps one of the worst. A.I. slop is beginning to become a real thing and it's extremely discouraging. What this boils down to is the studios will use an A.I. filter to replace an actress's face but keep their body intact. Not only does it look unsettling and uncanny but it's just straight disrespectful to the performer. Imagine getting booked for a shoot and being told you're not pretty enough so we're gonna replace your face with A.I. This stupid trend has ruined some potentially great films too such as the film on the right there. A juicy collab with Mion and Shiori gone to waste. Out of pure principle, I'm not watching any of this garbage. It's very sad to see the major studios like Fitch and Moodyz partaking in it. Please stop while you're ahead.
Fake tittyfuck cumshots
The bane of my existence. I love tittyfucks. There's nothing better than a big ol' pair of titties wrapped around a dick milking it to a nice cumshot finish. Except for when they decide to fake it. A lot of times, you'll see this for doujinshi adaptations. It's not uncommon to see the guy in those shoot out a geyser of cum and understandably, there's no way of replicating that in live action form without fakery. But when they pull this crap in regular releases, it just sucks all the satisfaction out. Seeing her tits get covered in cum is pretty much the main appeal and without it, what's the point? It doesn't help that in most cases, it looks laughably bad. This applies to the cum itself or how it releases. Gotta love when the actor ejaculates like a party streamer.
Group sex scenes
The more the merrier, right? Well, maybe not. Now don't me wrong, I love a good 3P film. FFM is, in my opinion, the perfect ratio. But when you start to increase the actress count, things begin to get a little messy. It can quickly become overwhelming with so much happening at once. It's more frustrating with the bigger scale releases, such as the Moodyz "BakoBako bus" series. There's just too much going on when you have two dozen pairings getting it on all at the same time. Even worse when you're currently enjoying your favorite actress for what feels like 10 seconds before quickly shifting to a different pairing. I don't think I need to mention the noise level, do I? I know the whining gets memed on but when you have x20 for these massive group scenes, it can become painful. I admire the effort to organize these group films but it's just not for me.
Ebody
Ah, good ol' Ebody studio. One of the kings of photoshop disappointment and mediocrity. It wasn't always this way though. Ebody was once a solid studio back in the day but sometime after 2015ish, they just lost their way. Their main focus hasn't changed, with that still being the busty types. But sometimes they really stretch the meaning of the word "busty" and not only that, but they'll often photohop the hell out their covers. Not just in the chest department but more so the face. The actress will look like a 9/10 on the cover but when you watch the video, you'll realize she's more of a 5/10. The videos themselves often feel very generic too thanks to their cookie-cutter production values. This mainly applies to the camerawork and lighting. It's not terrible but often feels so dull and lacks proper creativity. Is Ebody the worst studio out there? No, far from it. But there's no doubt they're extremely bland with little spice. Where's the sauce?
We all have our own pet peeves when it comes to JAV. Those things(minor or major) that can really hamper your viewing experience. Whether it's a technical issue, a genre or trope you dislike, or maybe even an actor that rubs you the wrong way. I'm here today to discuss 10 of my own pet peeves. They all range in frustration with some being a little nuisance to others being a video wrecker. With all that said, let's get started.
Masks
What a completely idiotic trend. I've seen many otherwise solid films ruined by this awful gimmick. Now, let me clarify by saying I don't completely hate all masks. I can tolerate some of them but the full-covered gimp type masks drive me crazy. One of the biggest reasons why I can't stand them is that they completely conceal their face and heavily restrict their acting ability. No facial expressions and no display of emotions at all. It can also just be flat-out creepy,...
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Comments
1) Masks - Some are into it, but not for me, and I speak for myself.
2) Overly bright lighting - As long as it is not a full on "I can't see sh*t", then it can be tolerable for me
3) Pointless artsy camera angles - If it goes on for far too long, then yes it can be annoying. But if it only lasts for a few seconds, then so be it.
4) Excessive toy scenes - I agree with this one. It sometimes feels like an advertisement for the toy with how prevalent they are sometimes.
5) Taku - His style works best when the theme of the movie is [redacted]
6) A.I. nonsense - Agreed
7) Fake tittyfuck cumshots - It just amplifies the whole fakeness of the cum used in these movies.
8) Group sex scenes - I disagree on this one. I mean sure it is hard to focus with so many hotties doing their thing, but the fact that all these said hotties are all in just one area is what makes me like it.
9) Ebody - I agree, I got baited a lot of times with the cover shot. But to be fair, most AV debut films are guilty of this as well
To add to this, are my JAV pet peeves:
1) The blatant overacting - Some actresses are just ridiculous when it comes to the acting part. Their moans are so fake that it is sometimes better to just watch the movie on mute. Also, some of them act to simulate convulsing in such a way that you'll think they were getting epileptic shock.
2) Whatever that grease they put in their armpits is - Even my girl Arina is guilty of this. It does not look appealing for me.
3) Blemishes on the actress - They are selling a fantasy here, so they should do their best to present themselves as such.
-edited by admin
Like you, masks, but perhaps for a different reason. If it's a bdsm setting, masks are often appropriate. What offends me is the discrimination. Women have to show their faces, but why do men have the privilege of being masked or having their faces pixelated? If you don't believe in what you're doing, don't do it!
As for lighting, I much prefer too much to too little. Much adult video is done poorly and that's usually a dismal lack of lighting. Usually it's an amateur problem, but sometimes I wonder what's being hidden. Fortunately, I rarely have this complaint with JAV.
Chirping. Too many women getting fucked sound like they're in a zoo. It's an unnatural sound and annoying as hell.
Toys, yes. Although I don't want to ever see toys (outside of the bdsm genre). It's not just too many, it's that it's a sex video not a sex toy exhibition! Also, when they are used, it's wholly artificial and unreal. I have to wonder if there isn't some product placement going on in some of these scenes!
Tit fucking. It has no appeal for me whatsoever. I guess I just don't get it.
Male nipples. My number one complaint. I cannot imagine a single thing that is sexual about a woman licking a man's nipples. My nipples have no suck sensitivity and I never see this in WAV (Western Adult Video). Is there genuinely some anthropological difference between us? I suspect it's just something to give the women to do while other, more real things, are going on. Anytime I see male nipple licking, I hit the fast forward.
Dominant/submissive imbalance. For the most part, I like the slow pace of JAV and the often imposition of sexual activity and the woman's eventual embrace of it. Some, however, go overboard and when the woman never stops resisting, it enters an offensive realm.
Skin bruises, scars, and such imperfections. For some reason, Japanese women seem to always have bruised legs. Also I see scars but that's more often on the men. Why is this and why do they not use makeup to cover these imperfections?
Pantyhose. I detest pantyhose, most especially when worn over panties. This looks to me like a suit of armor. In adult video, it's just one more thing in the way!!! I don't like time wasted seeing clothes taken off to begin with, and pantyhose needlessly add to the annoyance. I can tolerate pantyhose if they are sheer and worn without panties --- in that case it's more like provocative garb as you can see pussy through them (if the pixelation hasn't already taken it away).
Finally, pixelation. I guess it mostly goes without saying. If it must be done, do it with a light hand so a sense of the body part can be easily imagined.
And now, I'm expecting you'll do a list of your favorite things in JAV. I would find my list in that regard much more fun to write about.
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