Timing and Translation by ZENRA

Let me tell you a tale of two movies: one, the obvious, and the other, the not so obvious.

Obviously, this iteration of AOYAMA is different for a very obvious reason.

Not so obviously, this is what I call a "landmine" movie and I don't mean that as a compliment.

Going first with good news and also answering a question: to keep things fresh, while we plan to show the entire series (remastered, no less!), from here on out we plan to shuffle the update order (this also applies to LESBIAN DIRECTOR HARUNA). Thus, being our first update of the new year and since history shows this day remains one of our most busiest of the year, we're going in with a movie I at first would have considered "breakthrough", but after subtitling it, I almost want to gouge my ears like our protagonist did in Takashi Miike's most notorious film and get back to working on other movies in the series.

Visually, there is nothing to complain about in AOYAMA MASSAGE CLINIC FOR WOMEN 13 - INTERNATIONAL EDITION. Even more so as thanks to the remastering process, the visuals are all greatly enhanced. We remain the best and only place to get these versions of the movies! In fact, not just visually per technicals, but I'm very pleased to see this therapist, presumably the second in the series, make ample use of totally naked prone massages, something that became rarer and rarer later on most likely due to wanting to keep mosaic costs low. A sad trade-off, but the finances of these movies is something GOGOS knows more than me, a simple reviewer and weekend subtitler.

In fact, visually, things reach fever pitch in that second scene...you know the one, the one that graced this movie's cover, the one that's going to get everyone's attention for yes--an obvious reason: this version of AOYAMA is the first and I think only time we are graced with a foreigner. She notes she is half-Japanese, but I'm not sure if that truly is the case. But half-Japanese or full Black, who knows. One thing for certain is she's packing the fiercest lower body I've ever seen and for fans of thick legs and butts from another dimension, you've found your goddess. Truly nobody better! However, GOGOS warned us early on that there's a problem: her performance. Thankfully, this is not a case of over-acting. Sadly, it's one of under-acting. No reaction. Nothing. No moans, just a bored stare throughout the entire massage. A great body, a butt that can start (and perhaps conclude) wars, but sexual performance on camera? I've learned from this it's less how they look and how they act and here...

Do things get better? Well, the first client visually looks pretty darn good if you prefer big breasts on a Japanese women but speaks like the Low Talker from Seinfeld, there is a trade-off. The third client given she was introduced as someone who already has visited the clinic made me excited we'd get one of those rare repeater scenes perhaps with extra sizzle, but it also fell flat for various reasons.

It's rare I can pan a movie and honestly, as noted, our eyes on their own confirm a pretty darn good show (especially the second scene). AOYAMA movies may not be works of aural art, but this one really was plagued with bad, bad sound and I apologize now for any translation gaps and guesstimation as both do exist this time around. We did our best and hopefully you will still find the goodness in this movie. It exists within the folds of a truly glorious and gargantuan perfect butt.