An Authentic Nefarious Account Uncensored

Surprisingly hilarious look at the foibles of an Japanese salaryman with subtitles


An Authentic Nefarious Account Uncensored
with English Subtitles

Some Japanese salarymen take their jobs so seriously that it effects their home life in all the bad ways. Some are truly uptight and have fuses microscopically short. These are the ones that have outbursts about everything and are absolutely unapologetic about it. 'With age comes the ability to not give a damn' is the mantra many unknowingly live by. They'll snap like a pissed summer turtle frequently found all over the Japanese countryside with the arrival of tsuyu--the rainy season--and are a plague to all those around them.

With hair slicked back, smooth-shaven but with ruddy skin, thick glasses, and a suit simply too big for his frame, this production's Japanese salaryman is THE quintessential prototype others yearn to be. From the little bit we can gather through this surprisingly comedic production, he's high enough up in his company to have his own office. He also has something of a trophy wife played by the bubbly Asami Kaya boasting questionable implants whom he's oft to criticize for even the slightest in violations.

Slightly dialing back, it's humorous to see this stereotypical briefcase wielding concrete jungle warrior of Japan swinging to and fro on a swing-set way too small for him while waiting for his escort in a public park. She doesn't arrive--or well...someone arrives in her place and not much more about that can be written here without spoiling things. It's unique how carefree he appears here compared to the next scene where he nonstop berates his gaudy wife for wearing a skirt marginally shorter than regulation length.

He even pitches a whiny fit about her dyed hair, but goes absolutely wild with unchained rage when he discovers all she has under a somewhat sheer shirt is a bra that does little to hide her plastic surgery-blessed breasts (yes folks, implants in Japanese AV are surprisingly rare). It's hard to be angry at a Japanese woman no longer in her thirties trying to come off as rakish and chic. She wants attention and as we soon find out through their intermittent-at-best love life, it's something he does not provide often.

This is a strange, yet unique production. It's uncensored though it appears like it was filmed for a Japanese audience as some of the camera angles appear to be made with post-processing mosaic in mind. The sex scenes--well, the portions of the sex scenes with actual intercourse--are brief, but foreplay is long yet fortunately not dreadful. Rather, thanks to this uptight salaryman, it's funny and not just chuckle-worthy funny, but there were moments during the English subtitling process that were bonafied laugh-out-loud hilarious.

For example, when confronted by his wife with his frequent visits to escorts, he mumbles something about needing to find his medicine. Funny? Somewhat. But his medicine spiel is repeated again at opportune times with another woman--his Japanese schoolgirl paramour--and it does build into something gloriously humorous.

The final scene featuring this bizarre salaryman in his office anxiously waiting the arrival of a call-girl is a riot. It's a sex scene by the end, but the journey to actual intercourse is full of funny dialog and the facial reactions of his temporary partner in lust are stellar. She and him make a fraught discovery, but simply go with it. Rather than cut his session short, he makes the best of it though opts out of finishing on her face as that would 'cost extra and I can't afford it'.

Going by the dress of the actors, An Authentic Nefarious Account is certainly not a new Japanese AV production and even in an industry that aims to save every penny, the budget for this one definitely wasn't up there. Both AV stars are not famous neither then nor now. However, the actor who played the salarymen was a mainstay of movies of the early part of the new millennium.

An Authentic Nefarious Account given its flaws is still a pretty good movie. Take note that without either knowing Japanese or viewing it with subtitles, one would quickly turn it off. Visually, it's okay, but this is a Japanese AV production that is truly made good by its witty and oftentimes hilarious dialog.

Sadly (at least in this author's opinion), although Asami Kaya has stuck to playing 'traditional' roles for someone her age such as being a dominating milf, Anna Kuramoto, the salaryman's schoolgirl paramour appeared to have jumped off the deep end into the world of truly nefarious Japanese AV--we're talking real eyebrow-raising and bile-rising things here. The types of titles she has appeared in are so indecent that their genres cannot even be written about on Zenra. Search for her and her collection of 'work' at your own risk

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